Readers who have been visiting Sexpressed for a while know that I love movies. Obviously I like porn movies a lot since I’ve reviewed a bunch, but I also have a lifelong love affair with movies that don’t feature hardcore fucking. In another life, I would be a film critic or possibly even a film director. Yeah, I direct the Sexpressed videos and stuff but if I had really put my mind to it, I’m sure I would have made a really good feature-film director.
Eventhough most Hollywood movies don’t feature the explicit sex of porn features, there are plenty of movies out there that feature nudity. There are some great movies without any nudity and there are some bad movies that feature a whole lot of it. But every now and then there are great movies that also happen to feature some great nudity. So I thought I would go ahead and enlighten you with 10 Great Movies With Nudity As A Bonus. Enjoy!
Amanda Peet, The Whole Nine Yards
Yes, this movie fucking bombed. Yes, Matthew Perry is essentially playing Chandler from Friends in a feature film. Yes, it takes place in Canada. But honestly, folks, this movie cracks me the fuck up. I legitimately think that Bruce Willis is a terrific comic actor and wish he would ditch the macho action man persona permanently in his old age and just do funny movies. He was brilliant in Death Becomes Her and his funny moments in The Fifth Element are terrific. He’s equally hilarious in The Whole Nine Yards, so fuck you if you think this movie sucks. But even if you hate the film, you have to admit that the surprise full-frontal nudity from Amanda Peet is worth the price of admission alone. What’s so great about her scene is that it’s so out of left field…you’re watching the flick and going along with it, and then BAM: out of nowhere there’s a naked chick with a gun. I love it, this is easily one of my favorite nude scenes of all time.
Anne Hathaway, Love & Other Drugs
Anyone who knows me understands that my love and admiration for Anne Hathaway has no limits. I honestly don’t understand why everyone hates her so much. I think she’s funny, gorgeous, and she genuinely seems like a fucking awesome person. I’ve never met her so maybe she’s awful in person, but until I meet her I’m just going to keep assuming she is beauty incarnate. And while her best nude scenes are clearly in Havoc, her nude scenes in Love & Other Drugs are awesome and happen to be in a far better movie. Love & Other Drugs is particularly important to me because it deals with being in a relationship with a person who suffers from an invisible illness, which is something I know very well. Yes, the ending of the movie is lame as fuck and kind of ruins the whole thing, but up until that point Love & Other Drugs is one of the best (and realest) romantic dramedies I’ve ever seen. Plus, perfect boobs.
Maggie Gyllenhaal, Secretary
Forget that 50 Shades Of Grey garbage. When it comes to depictions of BDSM relationships on film, Secretary should absolutely be your go-to feature. Yes, the relationship between Lee and Mr. Grey (whose name influenced Christian Grey, no doubt) starts off very unethical and possibly even dangerous. But the way both of the characters navigate through their feelings and reservations about the alternative relationship they are forming is very real and very touching. What’s so terrific about Maggie’s nude scene is that it doesn’t occur until the end of the movie; all the BDSM stuff that happens on film is done with both actors totally clothed. It’s only when Lee and Mr. Grey finally give in to their “abnormalities” does she finally feel comfortable enough to be naked and vulnerable in front of him. Truly a terrific movie and a beautiful nude scene.
Angelina Jolie, Hackers
OK, so technically there isn’t really a nude scene in Hackers. It’s a PG-13 rated film, so of course there isn’t anything super sexual in it. But there are two times in the movie that you can very clearly see Angelina Jolie’s boobs, albeit for only a few seconds of screen time. As a kid, I thought Hackers was just the coolest shit, and I still quote the movie all the time…but as cool as the movie itself is, it was truly a sexual awakening in a lot of ways for my 12 year-old self being able to see Kate Libby’s boobs, because the character is literally my dream woman. Short black hair? Check. Insane fashion? Check. Loves computers and tech? Check. Super sexual feminist? Check. Being able to see her boobs for exactly two seconds was all I needed.
Sherilyn Fenn, Boxing Helena
You probably have never even heard of Boxing Helena. That’s because it’s so fucked up that it was pretty much just swept under the rug when it was released. I don’t even know how the movie got greenlit! It’s about a surgeon who kidnaps a woman and amputates her arms and legs to keep her trapped in his house. It’s weird and disturbing, in a good way, but then is absolutely ruined at the end when (SPOILER ALERT) it turns out it was all a fucking dream. What a cop out! Anyway, the movie features Sherilyn Fenn and her fucking amazing boobs. And let me tell you, after obessing over Audrey Horne in Twin Peaks, being able to finally see Fenn in the buff was ecstasy. Boxing Helena is a left-field movie that is incredibly interesting if not downright confounding, but when Sherilyn Fenn is naked how could you ever complain?
Erika Eleniak, Under Siege
Let me just get this right out of the way: Under Siege is a blatant Die Hard clone. It gave birth to the whole concept of calling something “Die Hard on a _______”. In this case, the “_______” is a battleship. Early on in the film, a stripper is brought onto the boat to do the classic jump-out-of-the-cake bit for the soldiers, but when the boat is taken over by terrorists (led by an absolutely bonkers Tommy Lee Jones) she is forgotten about. When she finally appears on screen, Erika Eleniak thinks this is her big moment and jumps out of the cake brandishing her absolutely perfect boobs. I know the whole scene backwards and forwards because I was 10 years old and used to re-watch my VHS copy of the movie over and over again for that scene. Because I was a young boy and obsessed with naked ladies. Duh. But seriously, aside from Speed this movie is the best Die Hard clone out there, and Tommy Lee Jones is so fucking over-the-top in the movie that it’s impossible not to have fun watching him be batshit insane.
Holly Hunter, Crash
In the same vein as Boxing Helena, David Cronenberg’s Crash is so fucking bizarre that it’s a wonder it even got made. The movie is about a semi-cult of people who fetishize car crashes. One of their biggest thrills is purposely crashing cars with them as the occupants, and fucking in the wreckage while they bleed out. Yes. How does one get into that fetish? Well, there’s one scene that’s stayed with me for years that sums it up: James Spader and Holly Hunter are two strangers who accidentally crash into eachother, and once the crash has calmed Spader sees Hunter take her seat belt off covered in blood and glass, and as she does she accidentally (or purposely?) exposes one of her breasts to him. It’s a strangely erotic and beautiful scene, and like I said it’s stayed with me for over 20 years. Although Crash is slow moving and in some ways incomprehensible, it’s a perfect match for Cronenberg’s obsession with the mixing of biology and technology. Worth seeking out if you haven’t seen it!
Uma Thurman, Dangerous Liasons
You may have seen Dangerous Liasons in its teen-friendly form when it was remade as Cruel Intentions. In reality both movies (and many others) are based on a French novel written in 1782, so I can hardly call Dangerous Liasons the OG. But it is vastly superior to Cruel Intentions, and the fact that one features Uma Thurman getting naked and the other doesn’t sends the point home even further. Uma has done other nude scenes before so it’s not like this is the only movie you can watch to see her in the buff, but this movie is so awesome that you really don’t need to see anything else. My only wish is that she was wearing the black wig she wears in Pulp Fiction…a Mia Wallace nude scene would be fucking incredible.
Salma Hayek, Desperado
Salma. Fucking. Hayek. Can anyone say anything bad about her? She’s gorgeous, a terrific actress, and from everything I’ve read a fucking fabulous person. And yes: she has probably the best body ever in the history of humans having bodies. The fact that she gets naked in a movie as fun and ridiculous as Desperado is like a gift to all humanity. It’s like Robert Rodriguez was standing around one day and said, “I’m going to remake my first movie with more guns, more explosions, and more camera tricks, and also show Salma Hayek’s perfect rack.” Who wouldn’t fund that movie? I can just imagine studio executives tripping over themselves to give Rodriguez suitcases full of money. If you’ve never seen this movie, you need to seek it out. Not only are Salma Hayek’s tits involved, but Steve Buscemi is fucking hilarious in it as well.
Linda Hamilton, The Terminator
Let’s be honest, a lot of nude scenes in movies are superfluous. The movie could survive just fine without a girl getting naked in it, but pretty much everyone will agree that if you can put beautiful naked ladies in your movie, you might as well put them in there. However, with The Terminator, the nudity actually is integral to the plot. Linda Hamilton’s character is creating the savior of humanity during her sex scene with Michael Biehn, and showing the viewer that intimate act is a testament to the very humanity we think needs saving. It’s a very vulnerable and beautiful moment in an otherwise violent and gross film, which only sends the point home even more. It just goes to show you that not all nude scenes are simply set dressing; some are integral to the story!
