Why So Seri-Ass?

By | 2017-01-17T17:21:02+00:00 November 16th, 2011|Tags: , , , , |

I don’t know, people always say to me, “What do you like about a girl? A girl’s legs? Are you a leg man? Are you a breast man? Are you an ass man? I don’t know what I am. I think I must be an ass man, you know? Yeah, people always say to me, “You’re an ass, man!”

-Rodney Dangerfield


Oh man…that’s incredible.

Oh Rodney, you were the best. Although the legendary Dangerfield apparently didn’t really know what kind of man he was it is very clear to me and pretty much everyone I know that I am totally and undeniably an ass man. I love ’em. Big ones, tight ones, round ones, juicy ones, black ones, white ones, bruised ones, gaping ones, all of them. Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass. Give it to me.

Where does the fascination come from? I mean, we all know what the purpose of the ass is…you use it to sit down on and you use it to shit. There’s very little about it that’s typically sexual. Even breasts which are explicitly designed to be used to breastfeed babies have an immediate sexual connection because when you’re fucking in the missionary position breasts are in full view. Even when you’re fucking doggy style you have to put your chin to your chest to get a good view of the girl’s ass which can get uncomfortable rather quickly. It’s kind of strange that the female ass and asshole are so fascinating to men…what is it all about?

The first ass I ever really noticed was on a girl in one of my classes in middle school. For whatever reason her hips and breasts had developed a bit earlier and a bit more pronounced than most other girls in my age group and it looked really nice. She looked older and more mature because she looked more like a woman and less like a skinny little girl. I couldn’t stop looking at that thing. The big fashion trend at the time was having jeans with no pockets on the back (which, for the record, is fucking stupid and hopefully that trend never returns) and she wore those things all the time. One pair she had had some sort of buckle on them at the top of the waistband centered right above the ass…it was like ass ornamentation. The pants seemed to scream out, “Here! Over here! Look at this fucking fine butt!” So I did.

I didn’t really notice that my ass-love was a realistic preference until I got with a girl who had really big boobs for the first time. The first handful of girls I slept with all had smaller boobs (for the record, when I think of “smaller” boobs I think B-Cup and below) and I enjoyed them but, since they were smaller, I assumed I wasn’t supposed to give them much attention (which is definitely a stupid thing to say, but give me a break, I was a young teen). So anyway, the first time I got a set of big tits right in front of me I didn’t really care, and I remember being kind of weirded out by it. I’m a man and when a man sees a big set of perfect juicy titties I’m supposed to be bouncing off the wall. But I wasn’t…I was into them, I liked them, but I wasn’t floored by them in any way.

Then the girl turned around and I saw her delicious ass and I was salivating at the mouth. There was no thought process to it, there was no logical interpretation of things or influence in any way…it was just very clear that I was much more into asses than I was into tits. I’ve been chasing ass ever since.

There are theories about male fascination with female ass, the most prevailing of which is that “child bearing hips” that usually come standard with big asses are psychologically attractive to men because, in evolutionary terms, men feel that these particular types of women will bear more children, although scientific studies have proven that there is no substantial correlation between hip size and fertility. Scientists HAVE found though that men find women with small waists and larger hips much more desirable sexually than women with waists bigger than or the same size as their hips. But the reasoning of “why” is mere speculation at this point.

It honestly doesn’t matter to me…all that matters is that I know this is how I am and I accept it. One of the things that upsets me so much is people’s inability to accept their sexual preferences because they feel they are “wrong”, bad, or even dangerous. It’s profoundly disconcerting to me. If you like big asses, accept it, love it. If you don’t like ass at all, accept it, love it. It doesn’t matter what you like or don’t like, all that matters is that you don’t fight it. Science may never be able to tell you why you like feet more than boobs, or why you like hairy cocks rather than shaved ones, or why you want to drink piss or swallow come…don’t bother with the why’s, only focus on the reality of it all. The more you accept who you are sexually and what you prefer visually the happier and more stable you’ll be. It’s the truth!

About the Author:

My name is Scott and I run Sexpressed.com. I am probably in love with you and probably want to have sex with you. That's just how I am. Follow me on Twitter!