Fast Food Worker Puts Menstrual Blood On Customer’s Burger

Anyone who has read Sexpressed for more than, ohhh...20 seconds, knows that I love me some burgers. I'm always eating burgers. In fact, I had a burger last nite. Burgers, burgers, burgers...I love 'em. People are getting pretty creative with burgers nowadays. All sorts of funky burger creations are popping up at restaurants all over.

By | January 24th, 2017|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Students Feed Home Ec Teacher Their Semen

One of the defining statements of the past 10 years is, "It's just a prank, bro." Usually this statement follows some asshole trick that is neither funny nor amusing, like hitting someone in the face or stealing their lunch and throwing it in the garbage. When someone gets upset, you drop the "It's just a

By | December 16th, 2016|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Climbing A Big Rock, Eating Pickles, And Banging Babes

You’ll have to forgive me for this Quickie because I’m going to spend an inordinate amount of time talking about Rammstein. I know the title refers to three things that don’t have anything to do with German dance metal, but I’ll get to those things as well. But you have to understand, I just found out

By | December 13th, 2016|Tags: , , , , , , , |

Deep Throating A Waffle Stick

Ugh. You know that feeling when you’ve eaten nothing but garbage food for the past few days and your body is starting to rebel against you? When you’ve thrown so many different types of sugar, carbs, and other devoid-of-nutrition things into your stomach that you find it hard to even want to live anymore? Yeah.

By | September 20th, 2016|Tags: , , , , , |

Cape Cod Vacation

We’re back from our Cape Cod vacation! You know, nothing makes me feel whiter than going to Cape Cod. It’s like, the whitest place ever. All you ever see are white parents with their white kids doing things together as a white family, or old white people who are there to get out of Florida

By | September 6th, 2016|Tags: , , , , , , |
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