Dine-And-Dash Online Dater Is Total Douche

Just think about all the first dates happening today. There's gotta be so many...maybe hundreds of thousands? Millions? I'm not sure but it's a lot. People meeting for drinks, coffee, movies, dinner, etc., all over the world. One of those daters might be Paul Gonzales, whose stupid, ugly, douchebag face fills the collage attached to

By | 2017-03-17T09:03:05+00:00 March 17th, 2017|Tags: , , , , , , , |

Fast Food Worker Puts Menstrual Blood On Customer’s Burger

Anyone who has read Sexpressed for more than, ohhh...20 seconds, knows that I love me some burgers. I'm always eating burgers. In fact, I had a burger last nite. Burgers, burgers, burgers...I love 'em. People are getting pretty creative with burgers nowadays. All sorts of funky burger creations are popping up at restaurants all over.

By | 2017-01-24T07:24:39+00:00 January 24th, 2017|Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Students Feed Home Ec Teacher Their Semen

One of the defining statements of the past 10 years is, "It's just a prank, bro." Usually this statement follows some asshole trick that is neither funny nor amusing, like hitting someone in the face or stealing their lunch and throwing it in the garbage. When someone gets upset, you drop the "It's just a

By | 2016-12-17T09:39:00+00:00 December 16th, 2016|Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Climbing A Big Rock, Eating Pickles, And Banging Babes

You’ll have to forgive me for this Quickie because I’m going to spend an inordinate amount of time talking about Rammstein. I know the title refers to three things that don’t have anything to do with German dance metal, but I’ll get to those things as well. But you have to understand, I just found out

By | 2016-12-12T17:32:37+00:00 December 13th, 2016|Tags: , , , , , , , |
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