FUCK YOU 2016. FUCK YOU 2016. FUCK YOU 2016. I just have to get a few more of those out of my system. I know everyone has been talking about how horrible 2016 has been and it’s kind of cliché to even be talking about it, but come on: 2016 was pretty fucking terrible. So many deaths, the election of Trump, innumerable acts of hate and violence…and there are a few personal things that have been really tough for me as well. It’s just been a shit fucking year and I’m so glad it’s over. I know that the calendar year is an arbitrary thing that we humans made up and has no bearing on the universe and the world around us, but I feel a lot better knowing that 2016 is over and 2017 has just begun.
And I gotta tell ya folks, I left 2016 in fucking style. And by style I mean “I fucked a whole lot and ate a bunch of things that were really bad for me.” I know that sounds like every day around here, but I upped the ante for last weekend and piled on the fucking and the eating bad stuff. Sooo much fucking and eating.
First off, I went to New York City to meet up with Samantha. I don’t get to see Samantha too often anymore because she has a job that has her traveling a lot, so when I do get to pin her down for a period of time I really like to “pin her down”, if you know what I mean! I mean have sex with her. You know…pin her down…have sex with her…are these jokes going over your head? Anyway, I trained into NYC and went to Samantha’s house and had sex with her like, I don’t know…8 times over the few days I was there? I don’t know, I stopped counting. We also got some food and just relaxed around her apartment. It was super fun.
Eventually, Ada made her way to the city to meet up with us. We went out for some delicious German sausages and then Ada and I bounced off to a kinky sex party at a club called Pendulum. I had heard about the club from Madison who has attended quite a bit. However, we were there on Friday nite, the evening before New Year’s Eve, and as such there weren’t that many people there. I think if the club was packed with people it would be a decent party, but since there were only maybe a dozen people in attendance, none of whom Ada or I were really interested in fucking, it made the party pretty lackluster.
However, there was a dude there who does fire play, where he essentially sets people on fire for sexual amusement. Ada was all about it, so she volunteered. Here’s a picture of her sexy naked body being, you know, set on fire:
It was pretty cool to see. For the record, she wasn’t actually being burned by the fire. The dude would put ethanol on her skin and then set the ethanol on fire, which would create a quick amount of intense heat on her skin, but not actually burn her. Some of her small hairs were singed off, but that’s about it. So the danger level is at about a 3, but it looks pretty fucking sweet!
The next day, Ada and I wandered around NYC and ended up at the Lego store. They have a little station where you can make your own Lego minifig, so I made one that looked as much like me as possible. Here’s me holding my own Mini Me:
And here’s a closeup of the minifig so you can see its glory:
After the Lego store we went to the Museum Of Sex. I had been there before, but it was Ada’s first time. They had this really cool section with all sorts of scandalous stuff throughout history involving sex, including these pages from a sort of “self help book” on sex acts from olden tymes. Check out this page:
After the Museum Of Sex we met back up with Samantha and went to a private sex party to bring in the new year. Ada had sex with a bunch of dudes and I had sex with a bunch of ladies and it was awesome. Just a lot of hot people being hot and doing hot things. We literally had to tear Samantha away from this girl who would simply not stop eating out Samantha’s pussy. It was 5:00 in the morning and we needed to go to sleep but Samantha was still going at it. What a slut, am I right?!
So now that whole business is all over and I’m really tired. But I’m happy that I got to spend NYE weekend fucking and eating, the two things I love to do most. Bring on 2017! It can’t be much worse than 2016.