My girlfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship and have been for about two years. Over the past few months I’ve found her being a little more distant than usual…and found myself being more distant, too. I feel that at some point in the future this relationship will end and I know it will be painful for the both of us. I had the thought that maybe instead of breaking up and stopping all contact, we could slowly break up instead. I don’t even know if this is possible though…do you know how to slowly break up with someone?
Slowly breaking up instead of quickly breaking up, eh? I don’t really know if this is a thing that people consciously do, Anonymous. I think the way it usually works is people start to slowly grow apart…kind of like what you and your girlfriend are already doing. Once enough distance has been established…once again, through no intention of either party…a final break up occurs. Is that how you “slowly break up” with someone? Maybe.
But the thing is, Anonymous, that there is always an eventual breaking point, i.e. a date and time when the relationship officially ends. You can’t avoid the pain and sadness that will occur at that moment, because the very essence of breaking up is that there is an “end” to a relationship.
So what you’re really looking for is a way to lessen the abrupt pain of breaking up. Because you can’t totally eliminate it, Anonymous. There’s just no way.
That being said, I don’t really see the point of this. If you guys lived together and would have to be stuck in the same place for a certain amount of time, then maybe I would advise something like this. But if you guys are long distance and both feel the relationship has reached its natural end point…then just end it. I mean, what are either of you gaining from keeping this going? It sounds to me like the one thing that makes LDR’s work…i.e. the incredibly strong bond between two people that can survive even without physical proximity…just isn’t there anymore for either of you. So don’t delay the inevitable, Anonymous: end it now.
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