I’m a young guy with not too much relationship experience. I’ve only dated two girls so far…the first one was very prude. We kissed and I took her shirt off and stuff but we never went further than that. She just wasn’t into it and told me that sex wasn’t interesting to her. We broke up and I started seeing this new girl, the one I’m currently seeing, and she is ALL about sex. She’s always talking about it and telling me she wants to suck my dick and sending me naked pictures of herself. I can’t help but think that girls don’t like sex this much…is she just doing this to impress me? I don’t want to go along with it and find that she’s messed up or something. What do you think?
This is actually really interesting, Anonymous, because I was like you once. Reading your question kinda got me all misty-eyed for my youth, like when you hear a song that was popular back in the day for the first time in years and are like, “D’awwww…I remember making out with so-and-so to this song.” Sure, I could rant at you about feminism and sexuality and the patriarchy and try to scare some sense into you, which I’m sure some of my readers are expecting/hoping for, but not today. Today I’m gonna cut you some slack and just nicely lay this out.
It is very easy to believe that girls don’t like sex that much because there’s a whole lot of mixed signals going on in our society. BOYS are the one’s who like sex, and girls are only interested in sex if it means they are in love. Simultaneously, girls are also expected to be total sluts and shake their butts and wear revealing clothing and suck off the football team or else they’re “prude”. In 10 years, Anonymous, we will blame you for that kind of hypocrisy because you’ll be an adult and thus either part of the problem or part of the solution. But today, you’re just a little kid and just as confused as the rest of them. So here we go, Anonymous…here’s your answer:
Some girls are really into sex and some girls aren’t.
I know that seems like a wishy-washy answer and I know it’s not very helpful for your particular situation because it doesn’t give you any type of assurance that your current girlfriend isn’t just saying she’s really into sex to make you like her or get popular or any of the other reasons girls would do that. But it’s the truth. Your GF may be a girl who’s really into sex and really does want to suck your dick all the time and show you her body and have you look at her naked and get excited when you get hard about it. Or, she may be not that into sex and just pretending to be because she thinks you (or someone else) will like her more for it. You just don’t know. But you know what? Best to just trust her and go with it.
You’re kind of stuck in a weird situation here. On one hand, if you really press your girlfriend and say something like, “Do you really like sex or is this all some sort of show?” then you run the risk of being that chauvinistic guy who thinks girls are weird if they like sex. On the other hand, if you dive in headfirst and start fucking her like crazy you run the risk of influencing the continuation of her poor decision of pretending to like sex. So the middle ground, and your best bet, is to just let her lead the way and go along for the ride. Every once in a while ask her things like, “Are you sure this is what you want to do?” or “Do you like this?” in a very non-judgmental tone, and then believe whatever she says in response. If she’s truly a sex fiend (which she most likely is, Anonymous) she’ll be all good and you’ll be being a feminist and treating her right! If she’s not and this is all some sort of ruse, then her issues won’t be negatively influenced by you and you’ll be helping her out, albeit in a small way. Either way, you’re good.
Good luck out there, Anonymous. I’m going to go dig out my old mix-tapes and take a trip down Memory Lane…
- Want to ask a question that could potentially be answered on Sexpress Yourself? Click here.
- Have a question you want to ask but want a guaranteed answer? Click here.